I can't "fix" this

Yesterday I realized something. I have this idea that I'm supposed to "fix" things that seem wrong. For the past several months I've been fighting to "fix" Clark. I know, I know. That sounds awful. I simply wanted to find a way to make everything better for him. My heart broke when I watched him struggle to do things he used to do with ease, like having a conversation. He'd changed and it was getting worse. When the IQ tests confirmed that the cognitive decline was indeed occurring, I set out to find out why and how to fix it.

The doctor was of no help so I had to do my own research. I insisted on all sort of tests to see if we could get to the root of the problem. All these tests have led us no where other than the realization that I can't do anything. I can't fix this, and that makes me angry. I'm worried and scared for him. I want to take care of my son, but instead I have to accept reality.

Through all of this, Clark is the happiest child on the planet. Isn't that really all that matters? Sometimes I get so wrapped up on him being "normal" that I forget to look at what a gift he is to so many people. I have no idea how things will progress for him. Maybe nothing will change and he'll simply struggle with a few things. Maybe he'll get worse. No matter what, I know he will always have a big smile on his face and a great outlook on life. Instead of trying to "fix" him, I should really be spending more time learning a few things from him.